Things have been pretty quiet externally as of late, almost like the intiatory wave into Autumn came for me a month earlier this year.
My body was hit with illness and my goodness did I discover a new level of slow.
A stillness that speaks volumes if I'm surrendered enough to listen.
The exhaustion has been bone deep, the body pain relentless.
And when the personal will hits the breaks this hard, there is no way of avoiding Gods hand.
A new alignment begins to call.
What no longer serves organically falls away.
Cleansing. Clearing. Clarifying.
Divine will at play.
Clearing the decks as life readies to play her next mysterious hand.
It's been a pretty revelatory time.
So much insight pouring through.
(Thanks to the ladies who joined me for last month's Her Space and received me in some of what has been landing).
Fear, impatience, frustration and then comes joy and relief to let go of the wheel as the controler takes a proper chill pill.
Gaaaahh, once the fear dies down and the trust kicks in, my God its beautiful to just let go...
It astounds me how powerfully our bodies can guide us into surrender if we're willing, whether its illness, pain, movement, rest, breath, voice, pregnancy, birth, menstruation, menapause, each one arriving with it's own unique coding that only we can understand.
Just giving ourselves to the experience opens us up to the mystery school that is these incredible bodies.
This time has really confirmed for me that all I ever need to know about myself, about life, from the most ancient past to the future I'm evolving into can be found through entering into deep communion and listening to my body.
Like my own personal manual for existence.
All the answers are literally within.
Especially inside the absence of answers.
Damn, this space of not knowing is friggin alive with potential.
And that's really where I find myself today.
Not having a damn clue.
What I'm doing.
Where im going.
Who I'm becoming.
She speaks to me so wildly and clearly through these moments of humbling my mind.
Beyond logic there is field of possibility.
When my heart is open it tastes like freedom.
So I'm doing my best to stay put.
Tending to my impatience.
All is well.
And She'll let me know when its time.
Ear to the ground of God.
Tenderly being received in the palm of life.
The mystery swirls into form of its own accord.
"The subtle gap between intention and form offers access to wild wisdom, alchemical magic and transformational potential and if we choose to expand ourselves wide enough; has the power to inform our living reality beyond what we can logically comprehend.
An awakened return to natural cosmic order."
(Words that came through a few days ago in a moment dancing with pain and exhaustion).
With love for however this shift in season is looking your end