I remember the first day of my yoga teacher training course and being asked why I had chosen to be there…and my answer was simple…’because I wanted to know Real Love’. Back then I felt so much mystery around Love, I knew I was capable of loving others and being loved in return, I knew I was embarking on a journey of Self Love… but somehow my understanding felt so limited…Love felt mysterious to me…unknown, scary, exciting, I knew there was so much for me yet to experience…
Since that moment my heart and whole being has been blasted wide open in unimaginable ways…over and over again. Somehow making this commitment to myself was an ignition of epic proportions. And if im totally honest; what followed was not always welcomed and by no means easy. I know now this was Love working her magic through my being so that one day I may realise myself unseparated from Love. That she and I are the same. My pure existence is Love…
But first I had to come face to face with Love… First she came like a temting Goddess, opening me, inviting me, seducing me with her charm. Her smell was sooooo sweet, she tasted good, familiar, irresistible. But it was not long before my ideas of a romance with Love were shot to pieces… She came like a tsunami knocking down walls, showing me fears, my loneliness, where I hurt, where I dont trust, where I judge, where I hate, where I manipulate, where I am ashamed and simply where I cannot hold myself as Love. She raged a mystical war in my being, no prisoners, nothing shall be spared in her wrathful fire, charging forward full power until I am no longer willing to stand in the illusion of who and what I am…
And then aaaahhhh that moment of surrender when I finally fall from my safety seat into her fire only to be fully embraced by mySelf as Love. You know that feeling right? And it is exactly why we keep coming back for more, why we do not give up on our beautifully broken selves.
This year Love showed me, took from me, gave me more than ever… Her bountiful gifts have been endless…she not only put me face to face with my unworthiness, my rage, my grief, my clinging, my false sense of security, my outward grasping of love. She also introduced me to a deep well of compassion, gentleness, softness, utter joy, humility and gratitude that spills over from my heart. This year has gifted me a deeper understanding that I can only love others as much as I allow Love in mySelf. Love cannot be attained from another. In fact the love of another comes as a miraculous gift, a mirror, so that I may learn how to love myself more. I have been slowly, sweetly, gently allowing Love and all her incredible reflections, tear me apart so that I may fall more deeply into Love as Love. Wowwwwww…what a sensational gift!
We are all on some level seeking love, from our lovers, partners, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues. But do we always know what sorrows they are facing? What fears they are dealing with? Are we aware of how open or closed their hearts are in any moment? And if we are aware, do we still demand they love us as much as we need?
2016 has showed me that everyone in my life is loving me to the best of their ability. And when I STOP seeking love from them and INSTEAD relax down deeper into knowing Love as my own true nature, allowing it to overflow from the magnificent Heart within me, I am FREE! I am not bound by expectation, limitations, needs, desires, I am simply free. Free to love them so deeply for loving me in their own unique way. I can fully enjoy the miracle of an open heart and also honour the blessing of a closed heart.
I cannot thank YOU all enough: my dear brothers, sisters; my parents and family, my old friends and new friends, my teachers, and those reading this that I do not know yet, THANK YOU for loving me like you do. The beauty that grows in us as a result of this love is truly Priceless. Timeless. Limitless. And a very big Thank You to the one that loves me no matter what, that stands by my side as I slip, fall and mess up. That loves me back to life. That reflects the capacity to which I can love myself. That allows me to drown him in this over flow of love. You are a rare gift and true blessing in my life. I love you beautiful man.
May Love flow more powerfully than ever through us all in 2017. In Love with you All Naseem
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